I think I’ve figured out what bothers me about the phrases “this is not normal” and “don’t normalize this.” I’ve said for a while that if you listen to marginalized people, the things we say “this is not normal” about actually are normal, they’ve just been said and done more politely.
Instead, I think we should be saying “this is not acceptable” (or “don’t accept this”) – because the evil is normal, but we shouldn’t put up with it.